Working in TJ

"Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it."

--Harold Hulbert

This weekend I got to go to Tijuana, Mexico to work in an orphanage for a few hours.. It was so much fun!  I went with a group of people from my school, and we played with kids allllll day... I got so sunburnt, but it was definitely worth it!   Here are some pictures :)

One of the TJ barios on the way to the orphanage

With the youngest kid Josalin (3YO)

My friend Sonia with Josalin

With my new best friend Carla, age 7 :)

Haha, one of my favorite poses..

Most of the group (minus us)

We got to ride horses!!

Ed, the orphanage owner, with some of the kids

The whole group!

We had WAY too much fun on the bus ride home!

Making me a friendship bracelet :)

On the way back to the border, we got fresh churros for $1!!

YUMMMMMMM :)

Only bad part: waking up with this awful sunburn the next day! (also-- note the new thrifted top :))

What did you do this weekend? Anything fun?

Realization..

I just had an illuminating experience.

I went to the grocery store to buy some unhealthy study-snacks to keep me awake long enough to hopefully not fail my final tomorrow.  I admit, it was more or less just an attempt at procrastination, but, nonetheless, I had an agenda in mind and I was hoping to be in and out in less than 15 minutes.  I ran in, went over to the chip isle, the candy isle, the little section where they sell lunchables, and finally the produce section. I was ready to go!  Instead of heading over to the self-checkout like I usually would, I got in line with the regular, technologically-challenged people, so I could use a check.  I'm poor, okay?

The woman at the front of the line was a small, older lady, who had about 10 items.  She had a scowl on her face, and seemed like one of those somewhat awkward crazies who you might encounter in Wal Mart or something.  The cashier started to ring her up, and right away you could tell there were going to be problems.

Her first coupon was expired.  She made the cashier go get his manager to make sure it really was expired.  It was.  The next item was on sale, but didn't ring up as on sale.  Turned out she had to put in her Vons' card number.  The next few items went okay, but then she got distracted and forgot to keep her eye on the screen.  So the entire line (of almost 15 people by now) waited while she went through every item individually with the cashier to make sure everything was on sale and she was getting the best price possible.

To make matters worse, the girl in front of me started up a conversation with this lady about some of their mutual food choices, further extending the entire process and making pretty much everyone in the line give a collective sigh and eye-roll.

After about 10 more minutes of this, the lady was finally gone.  It was almost my turn! I just had to wait through Annoying Conversationalist Girl, and I would be on my way home to study (read: write a blog post).  As he was ringing up ACG, the cashier turned to her and said "Thanks for talking to her [the old woman].  She's a nice lady, she just gets focused on what she's doing and can be a little intense.  She's a good person though."

I was stunned.  Here I had been, sitting in line thinking about how much I hated my life, how frustrated I was that I had to wait in line when I had better things to be doing, how annoying it was that this lady was arguing over every single penny, trying to get a deal, and yet the cashier, who actually had to DEAL with her, was thanking someone for talking to her.  The entire time I was waiting in line, I was either thinking about how much I would hate to be that cashier, how annoyed he must be that she is making such a big fuss, or about how much I wanted to be home.  I kept imagining if she were a customer where I work-- how I would want to die or scream or charge her $100-- and the stories I would tell to my coworkers later.

Never once did I think of the actual woman herself.  She was obviously not well-off; she was a saver who had deliberately cut out coupons so that she could get the best deals, and she was doing her best to get her money's worth.  How could I judge her for that, when in fact, I was only standing in this line so that I wouldn't have to pay for my food right away by using my debit card?

Never once did I think about the entire situation from her point of view.  She must have shopped very carefully, only choosing the items for which she had coupons, and resisting all those impulse buys which had so easily sucked me in.  It was probably embarrassing for her to have to hold up the entire line, and even more embarrassing that she would care so much about the cost of her groceries.  She must have felt awkward, and you could tell she didn't really like interacting with people.  I bet going to the grocery store is an ordeal every single day for this lady.

At that moment, as hokey and cheesy as it sounds, I realized what a hypocrite I can be.  I spend my entire life working with people, for people, and about people.  I am obsessed with community development, youth leadership, empowering people, rights for the impoverished, etc etc etc.  And yet, when it comes to actually interacting and dealing with the people for whom I am supposedly working... I am a total bitch.  Why is it that, when I am in Latin America I am caring, compassionate, and empathetic for everyone I meet, and yet, waiting in line at the grocery store I could care less about others?  Do people have a certain quota of niceness and compassion, and once it runs out for the year we just stop giving a f*ck and move on?

Which brings me to my quote for today: "Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are"  --Author Unknown

I need to practice what I preach.  I need to think of others.  I need to understand that I am not the center of the world, just because I am the center of my world.  I need to realize that every day is a journey, and every interaction is a memory.  I need to accept the fact that everyone has bad days, even me, and often the only thing we can do about them is to be understanding.  I need to see other people as actual living, breathing, other people, and not just as objects floating around me in space.  I need to be realistic about the fact that there are certain people who I will hate, just as there are certain people that I will love (and a whole lot in between).  Regardless, every single person deserves my respect, patience, and kindness.

And every single one of us deserves to have people fighting for us, whether they be our cashier at our local grocery store, our best friend, or even a stranger waiting with us in line.

Not only that, but every single one of us has the responsibility to fight for other people, whether they need our support or not.  Especially those of us who base our entire existence on this principle...

So that's my pledge.  This is what I will be thinking about today, this week, hopefully my life.  I'm sure it will take a lot of reminders, some negative interactions, and some extremely awkward conversations.  But that's okay with me, because it is who I am, who I want to be.  No matter what happens, no matter who I become, no one can take away how I choose to interact with others.  Try it out yourself!  I'm not saying we can be perfect, I'm just saying we can be better.

10 Things I miss about living in Honduras... (part 2)

Part Two of 10 Things I miss about living in Honduras.


6. Pre-gaming with Pepto:
As I somewhat alluded to, living in Honduras came with a whole host of intestinal/ digestive problems, to the point where we would chug a bit of Pepto-Bismol before going out to eat in any of our favorite restaurants.  It got to the point where I would always have a bottle in my bag, just in case.  Yet another thing you might think I wouldn't miss, but there was a certain amount of predictability and hilarity involved in passing around a bright pink bottle before and after meals.  And since we weren't drinking any alcohol all summer, it was our equivalent to passing around a bottle of vodka in a sketch paper bag before basketball games.  Good times.

My boss pregaming Mexican Food Night.  Go Teo!!

7. El Gusano
There is a very popular song right now in Honduras, called "Como Se Mata el Gusano" by the group Sante Fe.  It is about "killing a worm" but is rife with sexual innuendos, and the main dance to it involves A LOT of pelvic thrusting.  Little kids really liked singing it, aaaaaand dancing to it.  Unless, apparently, they were on camera :(
I had the "fortune" to watch any small child do the dance probably every other day in Honduras, and yet it never got less funny.  Kids are freakin' hilarious, especially when they get into a dance alllllll about sex...

Here is one of my favorite videos of one of my favorite kids' (Enzo) dad singing him the song and trying to get him to dance to it: 

Too bad there is no shot of him actually thrusting, because let me tell you, that is ALL this kid liked to do.  Often.  He was like one of those dogs, humping everything in sight... including my knee. And boy, do I miss him!!


8. Glass Bottled Soda
I know, I know, I know... We have bottled soda in the US now!! But it's not the same.  Really.   In Latin America they use a different type and amount of sugar, resulting in a different tasting coca cola that just can't be found here in the good ol' U.S. of A.  Aaaaaaand, they actually recycle the bottles, which means you can't walk away from the storefront while drinking the soda, so you either have to have a lot of free time to stand and awkwardly drink your coke, or you have to be able to chug some soda.  Led to some interesting conversations standing in small pulperias (corner stores) to stay out of the rain, often to old men with weird stories, creepy men with annoying stories, or sweet old women with practically nothing to say at all. I always liked to stop at this one store on the way home from the market where they always played the world cup games and enjoy a nice $.50 coke or 7 up.


9. Choco Bananas:
Need I say more?  You can't walk down the street and buy a chocolate covered banana in the US for 5 cents.... at least not where I live!!  My all time favorite snack in Honduras... That or a liquado (milkshake) if I wanted to live CRAZY and spend an extra 95 cents.

Yummmm!! 

10. BLERGSSTR
Meet Blergsstr.  He was our staff mascot for the summer, and his name is made up of the first letter of each of our staffs' names (an easy way to remember all nine members of staff).  We stole Blergsstr (the bird) from staff training in Houston, and fell in love with him.  Blergsstr represents all that was amazing about my time in Honduras, and is the reason why I will never forget not only the country and the memories, but the lovely lovely people I had the fortune to share them with.  BLERGSSTR (the people) made the hard times bearable and the fun times some of the most fun I've had in my life.  Without those crazy 8 people I would never have survived 2 months of some of the hardest work I've ever done, and I certainly wouldn't have signed up to do it again this summer in Panama.  Although post-Honduras we live all over the United States (in 8 different states, ranging from California, to Montana, to Kansas, to New York!!) I still talk to them on a regular basis, and they will forever hold a dear place in my heart.  I learned a lot from BLERGSSTR, and I miss them all like you wouldn't believe.  I only hope that at some other point in my life I have the fortune to work with another group of people who can make the shittiest day of my life feel like the best, make me laugh when I want to cry, and who support and understand me through everything [...Alright, so I know THAT won't happen, but it's what I will strive for, if not in my coworkers, then at least in my future husband :)]

Blergsstr (the bird) currently resides with my pepto-chugging boss in Northern California, although I hope to one day be reunited with him and all the amazing people he represents.

10 Things I miss about living in Honduras... (part 1)

I had the fortune to live in La Paz, Honduras for 2 months in summer of 2010 and I definitely miss it! Here's to hoping I go back and visit in 2011! :)


1.  Tortillas:

I'm not talking about those white, floury, filled-with-carb wonders of tortillas that we have here in the US.  I'm not even talking about those skinny, yellow, greasy corn tortillas that we have in San Diego.  Noooo no no.  I'm talking about doughy, fresh, thick corn tortillas, used as a spoon, hot off the fire, and served in a stack of about 10.  I miss TORTILLAS. I miss eating tortillas.  I miss making tortillas.  I miss hearing the women next door on both sides clapping the dough in unison (sometimes they laugh and call out to each other, and clap in patterns or beats).  I miss the smell of ground corn and smoke.  I miss the way tortillas soak up bean juice and hold JUST the right amount of scrambled eggs.  I miss the different ways that little kids eat tortillas-- eating around and around the edge in circles, tearing off little bits and dipping them in coffee, throwing them like frisbees, smooshing them all up in a ball and shoving it in their mouths, rolling them into little miniature tacos and eating them lenthwise, or just hungrily shoving tortilla after tortilla in their mouths after a day full of school, work, and soccer.  I miss tortillas.

Real, Honduran tortillas in Copan.  Found on Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/normapenner/2889460256/?reg=1&src=comment

2. "Black" Coffee:

In Honduras, they only serve coffee "black," but somehow it is sweeter than any coffee I've ever had in the states.  It is usually fresh, grown about a minute away and roasted on a cement patio in the backyard. At the time, I didn't really think much of the coffee-- I had about 5 cups a day, and it seemed so normal and ordinary.  Now I miss it. A lot.  Somehow, pouring about 29387 teaspoons of sugar into my coffee every morning doesn't seem quite the same, and makes me feel guilty and unhealthy.  Instead I drink my coffee a little too bitter, and can hardly finish a cup. Yuck!

3. $1 Taxi Rides to Anywhere in the City:

I lived in the small town of La Paz, Honduras, and it was definitely walkable.  However, sometimes (like when it was raining, or I had a sprained ankle for a week, or I had to go to the doctor, or was carrying groceries for 9 people, or was running late for a meeting, or was being lazy, haha) I splurged a dollar and took a taxi.  The main market and place where taxis left from (see picture, below) was a few blocks from my house, but taxis passed on the main road outside as well, which I could catch in about a second (being a white girl def has its advantages) and we also had a favorite driver who we would call up to take us anywhere we wanted to go (we being me and my roommates/ coworkers).  It was sooo nice and convenient. AND CHEAP!

Found on flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/alex-s/2703060733/

4. Latrines:
Maybe this sounds weird, but if anybody has lived in a developing country for a while, you probably know what I mean by this. Let's just say that drinking Honduran water, however purified, was not good for my stomach, and it was nice to have a bathroom that was a) away from the house b) nice and breezy and c) easily flushable and not prone to clogging.  Maybe that was gross, but hey, life is gross. Get over it.

Some things that sucked about latrines:

-walking to them in the middle of the night

-that little gap between the door and the wall where anyone could see you do your business if they were so inclined

-the little animals that liked to hang out inside them (aka crazy huge wasps that like to sting you WHILE you are pulling your pants off)

-having to walk around to the front of the house to get water from the pila in order to flush, if you forgot to grab it before you went to the latrine in the first place (which I usually did, haha).

...Somehow, the cons outnumber the pros, and yet I STILL miss latrines.  Weird.

5. Speaking in Spanish:
Another odd thing to miss, especially since, living in San Diego, I get plenty of opportunity to talk in Spanish.  It's really just not the same though.  People laugh at me when I use phrases like "Que pasa, calabasa?" ("what's up, squash?") or "nada nada, limonada" ("nothing much, lemonade")  or my personal favorite "cheque leque con panqueque" (HARD to translate, but literally "cool with a pancake" although it works way better in Spanish haha).  Honduran Spanish is a pretty "normal" version of Spanish (as opposed to like, Argentinian or something), but I still miss it, and wish I had more people to speak to in it.

Hablo Espanol, by Polache explains this better than I do :)


Check back tomorrow for numbers 6-10!! :)

And She's Back!

"The best way to get something done is to begin."

--Author Unknown

...and the best way to never get something done is to be me.

One year later, and I've taken up the whole blog-writing thing... again. Only this time without all the delusions of grandeur. I'm just going to update when I can, write about my life, be OK with the fact that no one reads it, and HOPEFULLY start a 365 project and update with a picture every. single. day. for a year....... Once I get my camera.

Speaking of cameras I am trying to decide between the two most talked about cameras in the history of the internet: The Canon Powershot S95 and the Panasonic Lumix LX5. Both are high-end compact point and shoot cameras going for about $400. Both have their pros and cons. I CANNOT DECIDE! This is the single most important issue for me right now.... although it REALLY REALLY shouldn't be. There will be an entire post on this soon. :)

Other updates, since it has been about a year:

-I am currently living off campus with 5 (well, now 4, since one is studying abroad, but it feels like about 16) other girls

-I am no longer playing for the club soccer team, and am instead working my butt off for the SD chapter of AMIGOS

-I picked up a Global Health minor, which I lovelovelovelovelove except for all the reading, which I have (of course) yet to start

Some things which have remained remarkably unchanged over the last year:

-I still never, ever (and I mean EVER) do reading or homework, and instead procrastinate ridiculously by re-starting weird blogs (although I think that I legit have AADD, but that's another post for another day)

-I still am trying to lose those 15lbs

-I still live with Roomate #1

-I still am searching for evidence of my happiness and/or well-being, but that just sounded super hipster/emo/lame, so let's reword.....

...I am still trying to figure out my life?

Ugg I hate how whenever I am typing things they come out sounding all emo and trying too hard. Like oooh la di da this is my bloooooggggg (in a british accent). Similar to how I used to write in my diaries (there were about 87) when I was a kid and wanted them to sound exactly like the dumb-ass diaries (dumb ass-diaries) in those super lame Judy Blume books. I was all,

Dear Diary,

Today was just simply awful. You will never believe what happened to me! I had the most dreadful time at the park, and then I cried, because of my undying love for my beautiful crush who didn't even speak to me today! The horrors! How will I ever live?! OH MY! LOTS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS AND COMPLAINTS! ALSO, SPARKLY GEL PENS!

always, Loni. <3

[yes, I ACTUALLY signed my diary entries with a heart. True story.]

ug. gag me. This is why this time, this blog is for ME ME ME. Like my to-do lists, or the doodles I write in my notebooks. PRIVATE PROPERTY. (except for any random ppl who might happen to stumble upon this blog. oops.) The rules are 1. no writing because I feel like I have to, 2. no feeling guilty when I haven't written in a while, and 3. no whining (unless it's REALLY IMPORTANT or really funny).

There. This will be fun. FUN, LONI, FUN!

That's my life right now! ...What else has been going on? Hmmmmm not much. Time to wrap up. I am already getting bored of this post (SEE!!? ADD!!) and.... wait, where was I going with that?? I think I was saying something about how I was done writing for now.... Yup, that must have been it.

SOoooooooo yeah. Peace out. Next time: Cameras, AADD, and applying to be an RA! :)